Saturday, July 19, 2008

Mobile 4

Text spacing test
Number 1

Mobile blog 1

This text belongs under the picture

Mobile test 2

Mobile test 2

Mobile test

Monday, June 25, 2007

Dramatic Chipmunk

This is the future of our republic. And here is the link to the (obviously) Japanese television bit it is ripped from. And of course, the Dramatic Chipmunk Pervert. The chipmunk is however played by a prairie dog.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

The First Republican Debate: An Experiment In Live Blogging

Red ties a plenty they are lined up to convince me that Bush is wrong, but not too wrong.

6:17 - McCain really wants to attack Iran. And he get's Iran and Iraq confused, that seems to happen often lately huh?

6:18 - Tancredo of all people (my congressman), learns me some about Extreme Islam. It looks like he could use some Extreme Mountain Dew to stop mumbling.

6:20 - Is President Bush partly responsible for our problem? Answer: Let's avoid that.

6:20 - Romney, I will name every Muslim sect and hope I hit on one you already fear.

6:21 - McCain no likey Tancredo, but back to that tall islamic dude I will "follow to the gates of hell"

6:23 - Apparently everybody but Huckabee fears the Terminator. Protectionism, or Self Protectionism?

6:25 - Surprise, Giuliani thinks he was a good mayor, and fair to everybody, except ferret owners, fuck ferrets.

6:29 - Ron Paul: I want to kill the IRS?

6:30 - Surprise, everybody hates Roe v. Wade!

6:30 - Guiliani thinks this is a federalist government, he still doesn't know what Republican means does he!

6:30 - WOW, Tommy Thompson thinks abortion is a state's rights issue.

6:32 - Romney's second invoking of Reagan. The "I am the reincarnation of your golden god Ronald Reagan" has begun. And Romney explains that flip flopping is good when republicans do it. Which means that crap Dems will jump on a has been insult and use it until they realize that nobody wants last years political insults.

6:35 - McCain, why are you like Reagan? Answer: I'm old, I have experience, I know everything.

6:37 - Ron Paul, give me a Unified Field Theory of terrorism.

6:38 - Tommy Thompson, Do you hate fags? Answer, a little, but I am not going to say it.

6:39 - Romney: We want to choose a leader not based on what church they go to. Secret Meaning: I'm a morbot and please don't hold it against me.

6:40 - Brownback quotes "Senator Lieberman, a jew" to defend God in government. Nice one Brownback, very shifty.

6:43 - Gilmore, if elected president, will we have to deal with more Karl Rove? Answer: That's not the point, the point is various other things that aren't that question.

6:44 - Tancredo, same question. Answer: I don't like Karl Rove, and "I have never been this close to Air Force One" and I think I have an erection right now.

6:46 - Chris Matthews to Thompson: Say something, anything. Answer: I am in love with Ronald Reagan.

6:47 - To Brownback: Why is your party so corrupt? Answer: Hey, the Dems are corrupt too.

6:49 - Tancredo: I am not a centrist, neither was Reagan. Hint Hint!

6:49 - McCain gives me more Reagan Love Strokage.

6:50 - McCain will cut various miltary programs, BUT, he supports the troops lots and lots.

6:51 - Huckabee won't give Bush a grade on Iraq.

6:52 - Guiliani, your nuanced on abortion. Explain this complex idea of nuance. Why can't you just make your answer a simplistic sound bite I can print easily without having to type that much because I am a lazy journalist.

6:54 - Tancredo, I deserve to be here because I say plain non-political shit because I never actually want to win.

6:55 - McCain, give me a non-plain political answer to immigration that is totally the thing Tancredo just insulted.

6:57 - Ron Paul, name a moment that you had to make a quick critical decision. Answer: I think I will just drop the ball on this one as if I didn't understand the implications of what I just did.

6:58 - Thompson: I however will not drop the ball on this one, I made snap decisions all the time so I am clearly more qualified than that guy that can't even get into the next debate for reasons that are now more clear than ever.

6:59 - Embryonic Stem Cell research funded by the goverment OR please insult the wife of your golden god Ronald Reagan.

7:02 - Romney likes his health care work and he's funny. Somebody's winning.

7:03 - Why is McCain saying everything in that "read my lips, no new taxes" tone of voice.

7:04 - Romney parrots his favorite line about loving to veto things. Yay.

7:05 - Brownback references being killed in a DOA joke and proceeds to creep everybody out.

7:06 - Thompson goes the flat tax route. That's always NOT popular.

7:07 - McCain gives me more tax hating love.

7:08 - Ron Paul can you be more extreme in your tax ideas? Answer: No, I think I will make this my most sane answer of the night thank you.

7:09 - McCain give me some non-Lieberman Dems for your cabinet. Answer: I will name no one, no one.

7:10 - Do you believe in evolution? McCain, yes. Romney, no, surprise. Special Note: We are the country with the lowest number of it's citizens who believe in evolution.

7:11 - Guiliani, what is the difference between Sunni and Shia? Answer: Your not gonna fuck me, we figured out a few months ago that we have to know this shit now.

7:15 - Guiliani, what is your greatest weakness? Answer: I will fish for 30 seconds for multiple ways not to answer that sir.

7:16 - Tancredo: Will you protect womens rights (as in abortion)? Answer: I like womens rights, but, not reproductive rights. So, that would be a NO my dear congressman!

7:18 - National IDs Mr. Guiliani? Answer: Yes! I have done a lot of great work in security! Um, 9/11???

7:19 - Romney agrees, welcome to the police state kids. Show me your papers!!

7:19 - Brownback disagrees, and I still don't care who this guy is.

7:20 - McCain is for it, Ron Paul against it, surprise. Tancredo is against it. So, everybody who has no chance of winning is against it. Great!

7:21 - Oh, apparently it's only for the immigrants says Romney, Guiliani and Thompson. Xenophobia is now an American Value.

7:24 - Shivo, let's do it. Romney: Family yes, congress no. Brownback: "Her life is sacred". McCain: "In retrospect we acted too hastily". Guiliani: "courts".

7:25 - Would it be good for America for Bubba to be back in the White House? Answer: Are you crazy and why are you wasting our time by asking this question?

7:27 - Course correct, how will you be different? OR How will you NOT insult the current president? Answer: I will veto, Homeland Security, states rights, trade laws yadda yadda. Brownback actually agrees with Biden on Iraq but won't say it. More private health care, foreign relations, 9/11, 9/11, Guiliani was mayor on 9/11, 9/11, I have been brainwashed, 9/11, 9/11.

7:31 - Reagan, Reagan.

7:32 - I'm spent.

Wonkette's Live Blogging

And now the aftermath. Mentions of Reagan, 16 times, surprisingly low. Mentions of Bush, 4, not surprisingly low. I liked the format. I liked the whole moderator at a podium while another guy walks up on you and assaults you with another question and another guy waits at a desk covered in monitors to throw out the weird questions. It captured that rapid fire, multiple points of interest style that Chris Matthews is (in)famous for. I have heard lots of criticism about it in the past by such people as Jon Stewart, which I do agree with on the basis that it doesn't provide, much like tonight, for long form answer. But, in today's politics, which was so obvious in tonight's debate, when you give these party clowns too much time, they just run around in circles like my sister's retarded cat chasing it's tail. They proceeded to bitch and moan after the debate that they weren't given the time to explain their points fully. But, when they found themselves with even 2 seconds left they just repeated talking points over and over like an eighteen year old boy after his first fire fight suffering from PTS. Well, except for Mitt "The E-Meter Told Me So" Romney and Tom "Tommy Tanks" Tancredo. These guys frighten me. They frighten me because they are smart, they make their argument without repeating what the print out said. They also have the added appeal of the random pause, they will pause mid sentence and actually think about their answer. This is a technique in speaking that is not present in today's politics. They are smart, smart and wrong.

UPDATE 1: On the note of the evolution question. It was Brownback, Huckabee and (surprise) Tancredo that do not believe in evolution. My fucking congressman doesn't even believe in evolution. And Chris Matthews made a depressingly inaccurate statement as to it by saying, "I think that most Americans believe in evolution". No, you potato(e) eating scream junkie, the majority do not and it saddens me. I will go cry now.

Barack Obama's Myspace Page

There is a wonderful battle that has taken place for our new internet century. I like Barack Obama. I would totally vote for him were it not for the fact that the primary will be decided long before I, in Colorado, get a say. On Myspace I was on Barack Obama's friend list. That was until it was decided by his people and Myspace that the person that has worked on it for the past two years deserves no compensation or involvement of any kind. Joe Anthony had labored on the page even before Obama had made a decision to run. And honestly after his performance at the first debate, I'm still not convinced that he is running. Joe Anthony and the Obama people had a nice working relationship at first as Joe racked up the friend list and the subsequent press coverage. The Obama campaign in it's infancy did not have much interest in it until that press coverage started rolling in about Myspace playing a role in the election. And so, and I am just making a very good guess here, they wanted to control the message further, they decided they wanted sole control of the page. Ever since that key note address at the convention I have liked Obama for his non-politician-ness (yeah, I say it's a word). But, if you are going to run for president, you need people around that know how to make you one. And they want to control every aspect of that image and message. Like say not having tons of pictures flying around of you smoking (I took this one from Wonkette, I didn't really search that hard though). So, Joe wanted a little scrilla for his troubles. I mean, approving 140,000 friend requests takes some time outta your life if you don't want a million webcam hoes throwing up ads on your deal. Joe Trippi parlayed what he did for Howard Dean on the internet into a whole career. And I don't think Joe Trippi has 140,000 friends. But, rather than pay anything to Mr. Joe Anthony, Obama's guys decided to just go straight to Myspace. Myspace decided to just hand it over to them apparently listing as their argument that since the url - was in Obama's name, he could have it. Well Myspace, I want the url to my name. An 18 year old girl in Jersey has it and I may one day run for president so hand it over. Now, you might say, well, he did run it under another guy's name. But, he said right there on the page that it wasn't Obama running it. And let's be honest here, I don't think Hillary is sitting around approving friend requests and replying to emails on Myspace. So, really it ain't as if she is technically running hers either. And Joe was for a time technically running it in their name. Also, I happen to also have Charles Darwin and Federico Fellini as friends too on Myspace. Let's just assume they are not being run by those dead guys and Myspace has no issues with that either. Otherwise, we have a whole other super cool Ghost In The Machine thing going on here. Myspace returned the page itself with the 160,000 friends to his power. I recommended to him that he turn it into a Mike Gravel Myspace. That way Mike Gravel would instantly have more friends on Myspace than any other candidate, and he needs the help and won't mind I don't think.

Wonkette article
Daily Kos article
Tech President article
What had been Obama's Myspace
Joe Anthony's Myspace

Joe Anthony's radio interview today.
Which the radio hosts over-dramatize the concept of the big bad presidential candidate "swooping in and stealing" this "little guy's" internet site. During of course which they demonstrate a painful lack of knowledge about the internet(s) as whole and social networks in general. But, they do touch upon a point that they make about as badly as I did as to the fact that Obama has embraced the non-politician image. And this was the act of a pure politician at work.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

"The Commander Guy"

Apparently no longer satisfied with the self declared moniker "The Decider", today in his 'splaining as to his veto of the spending bill for the Iraq conflict/ war/ death vacation/ civil war, he decided on an entirely new name by which most of us will now mock him by. As to his veto of the bill that would give him all the money to make war that he wants, provided he only plays war for a period of time set by congress. “The question is, ‘Who ought to make that decision, the Congress or the commanders?,’’ President Bush said. “As you know, my position is clear – I’m the commander guy.” Yup, The Commander Guy. Do you notice that his own self styled nicknames have become less and less associated with that of a President? The congressional vote to surpass the veto fell short, no surprise there. Today the leaders of "the opposition party" met with "The Commander Guy" to begin the co-op photo-ops.

NY Times article

MSNBC Article
HuffPost Article

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Mission Accomplished...... Let's veto.

Happy Anniversary Mr. President.

Mission Accomplished May 1, 2003.

First, the quote-

Now, a little funnier-

And now, Peter Jennings tells it the way it was. Take special note of the fact that this report is filed by Bob Woodruff who in the future would go on to lose half his face while reporting in Iraq.-

Mission accomplished and yet your going to veto? Really? Really, really?

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Lessons For Presidential Candidates #1

I will try to make this a running thing. You know, since I am going to all the trouble of numbering it and all. And I think it bears mentioning due to the shear stupidity of the story. Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee needs to have that old conversation with his son about the birds and the bees, and "walking on a plane with a loaded gun". Now, he has a concealed carry permit and all, and apparently this form of crime only carries with it a $100 fine or some such crap. But really? Who does that, who (especially if daddy wants to run the free world) walks through airport security with a friggin' gun. Now, he says it was an accident and he picked up the bag and brought without knowing the gun was within. That seems sensible. If your retarded! Can a human being with the right to control their own life really be so gun happy that he just forgets where he put his gun, and extra loaded clip? Now I don't think there was any malice in this obviously, I just think this kinda guy should be required to wear a special hat of some color, so we can clearly identify who these people are.

AP Story - Huckabee's Son Arrested With Handgun

Monday, April 23, 2007

Pearl The Landlord

A rich, paid to be funny guy pretends to be a regular guy making a funny video for the internet. This would be sad and anger me with it's uselessness. Were it not for it being totally funny. I am still attempting to understand a great mystery of the universe that this video begs the question of. How is it that Will Ferrell successfully never made me laugh once during the whole of his 7 years on SNL, only to be funny in everything he does now? Is it possible that he was just fucking SNL the whole time by keeping these ideas to himself? He (his production company) started the Funny Or Die website for just such internet videos. And accordingly, has prevented YouTube from carrying it. So I have tried to embed it here from their site. But, it plays automatically. And so, as soon as it starts annoying me I am deleting it. But, the link below will remain for all to see.

Pearl The Landlord - Video
USA Today Story
TV Squad Story

What Is The Soundtrack Of Genocide?

The picture is entitled, "Female member of Mursi tribe in Southern Ethiopia". I know what your thinking. That's it, I'm getting rid of mine, AK-47's have just gotten too trendy now. Now, after the usual five minutes of research I find that the Mursi are indeed not into the whole genocide bit. They are in fact being displaced off their land against their will by a government that coerced them into signing their land into a national park. But really, "What Is The Soundtrack Of Governmental Displacement" just doesn't sound as good.

A La Boing Boing