Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Run And The Bobbies Will Shoot

They are very, very sorry they killed that innocent guy with seven, fucking seven, bullets to the head. But, it is your responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen again. So, in case your "a bit foreign", drive a car. The tube is for true Londoners only. It really does amuse me, the just slight racism that lurks in England.

Never Don't Commit A Crime

In case you are the only person on earth who hasn't had the pleasure, go to Engrish.com. It is one of the funniest ways to waste time while that pirated first episode of the extras, and that auto-erotic asphyxiation video that you fetishize both download.

Carpool You Nazi's


I always wanted the original of this ever since I saw that Bill Maher had done a Bin Laden take on it for one of his previous books. I can't figure out if it's a good thing that our government doesn't go to this level for striking propaganda anymore. On the one hand, it is pretty extreme. But on the other hand, the whole "buy shit or the terrorists win" thing is a bit crap. I don't know, what do you think?

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Foreign Condom Ads 2




Again, I think they speak for themselves.

All are found on this site.

Foreign Condom Ads 1




I think they speak for themselves.

The first one is from this site, called Rakuten that I can't read because it's in Japanese.
The second one is from MedAsia.
The rest are pictured on this site.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Who The Fuck Is This Guy?


John G. Roberts. Bush is sending that guy to the Supreme Court. The only thing the channels on my TV seem to agree on is that nobody knows anything about him. So much for the info in infotainment. Johnny has argued against abortion, big surprise. He has defended these statements by claiming they were simply the views of the clients he was supporting. I'll buy that for now. I find him threatening, because, like many Americans I am afraid of what I do not understand. One thing is for sure though, Bush picked this guy for some wild eyed reason. Now, there is the timing of this announcement. The Bush administration would now like for you to please stop thinking about and talking about a certain "super secret double background" creep.

And In Local News...


Republican mexican hater Tom Tancredo is going international. The congressman has in the past attempted to get a bill passed that would put an indefinite moratorium on immigration to the United States. His reasoning has been terrorism, of course, and most funny of all, over population. He ironically also supports a ban on partial birth abortion and along with that, any abortion. He is famously not allowed at the white house after fighting with Karl "pinky swear" Rove over Bush's immigration policies. Now the congressman has set his sights (literally) on the middle east. In response to being asked what the U.S. would do in retaliation to a homeland terrorist attack, Tancredo decided to turn off his "crazy statement filter". "If this happens in the United States....You could take out their holy sites". The radio jerk than says, "Your talking about bombing Mecca?" And now crazy Tom responds, "yeah". Yeah? Sure let's just fucking do that then. This is what happens when the government can't fight an actual country. They just start coming up with ludicrous ideas like this one. We are going to bomb a church because the guys that bombed us were religious in a certain way. Isn't that a little like bombing a Scientology building because Tom Cruise's last film sucked (and it did)? Well, that may be more sane to do. Or, say, killing an entire race of people because a couple of jewish people pissed you off when you were younger. Yes, I just did the annoying thing where people compare our actions to that of Nazi's, sue me. I am sure that if we were to start bombing mosques, that all the terrorists would just throw up their hands and give up like the Japanese in WW2. That is obviously the rationale here. This is exaclty why they hate us in the first place. Thanks Tom, I'll be sure and plaster that statement all over I-25 every day of your next re-election bid.

Friday, July 15, 2005

I Really Fucking Hate Karl Rove


I really do. Apparently not only did this penis head not technically say Valerie Plame's (Joe "no fuckin' uranium in Nigeria" Wilson's wife) name to Matt Cooper, and therefore it isn't technically illegal. But, goddamn it, now he had confirmed that same shit to Bob (I love cock) Novak. "I heard that too", is not illegal. I really fuckin' hate this guy. That's all, I might add actual information later instead of just random swearing and senseless belligerence but that's all I've got at this point. If he had a puppy that he was particularly partial too, I would kill it.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The Holy Land Is Tax Exempt Property


It's the Holy Land Experience. It is funded and operated by Zion's Hope, a Christian minisrty. They are "devoted to converting Jews to Christianity". In court a judge decided that Zion's Hope is using the Holy Land Experience "to spread what it consider's to be god's word". Therefore, no property taxes for a theme park. I gotta tell you this place looks like it would be a lot of fun. At first viewing of their website they explain all the great attractions you can see.
You "travel back in time and experience"...
"The passion and suffering of the Christ". Yes, whip me, beat me, crucify me.
"Qaboo the camel". Yeah, a camel.
"The bustling street market". Where you can by real Jesus clothes (made in China).
"The confrontation". Yes, now you to can be persecuted by those damn Jews.
"The ruggedness of the promised land". In case you didn't know already, Israel is all fucked up.
"The oppression of the romans". You know, whips again, lions, all the worst parts of the bible.
"The lovable animals". Yak petting zoo.

If all of this doesn't make you accept Jesus you fuckin' godless hethen, then the musical dance numbers will. Although if you go to the page for ticket prices, they have a "Jerusalem Gold Pass", only, it's spelled "Jersalem Gold Pass". I think this place is gonna be real popular with Jewish people.

The Holy Land Experience
Fla. Christian Theme Park Dodges Property Tax

Monday, July 11, 2005

Check Out My Web Site.


That is one creepy looking bastard. Joseph Duncan is the man charged with molesting those poor kids in Idaho and possibly (Read: Fucking likely) murdering the rest of their family. He would have also killed the son named Dylan, leaving only the girl, Shasta, alive. I don't typically like writing about such things mainly because there is nothing any of us can do about these situations. It's kinda like terrorism, there is always going to be some asshole. But, here is the interesting thing about this crazy fucker. He is a blogger. He has a blog and was still using it as late as May of this year. Not only does he babble about being a child molester and general criminal fuck. But, he talks about demons and other such future mental defense inevitabilities. The thing is there are tons of people who have commented on it. It is obviously more popular than this place right here. That really does make me sad, a sex offender has shown up my little thing here. At first on the earlier posts and even some on the latest, there are tons of christian types and others talking all nice to him and trying to help him with his problems. Then as you read closer to now, you get the people that would appear to not want to help him. These people want to do something quite different to him. Ironically rape is mentioned often. Tom Cruise even commented that there is no such thing as a "chemical imbalance". God, TomKat is everywhere. I am not saying that I know he is guilty, but, if you walk into a convenient store with a kidnapped girl who says you molested and killed her brother, well, yeah, your guilty. Go there now before the FBI rips it apart for evidence. It is a funny scary experience. Go there. Then go take a bath.

Blogging The Fifth Nail
That is Joseph Duncan's site

Sunday, July 10, 2005

London Hurts...But Not That Much


So some overly empathetic (emphasis on pathetic) American has created a community site devoted to what I still am not comfortable calling London 7/7. However, some Londoners have found the site and are taking it over to show how they feel about it. Not surprisingly, they seem slightly offended about the immediate appropriation of tragedy for selfish fulfillment. The first picture is the banner from the site. The next two are remixes of it by Londoners. My favorite quite from the site is "London drinks tea in your general direction."

LondonHurts

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Live 8 Dead.



The top picture is of "what is estimated to be between 150 and 650 tonnes of assorted trash (at 3 kilos (6.6 pounds) per person)". That is the aftermath of Live 8. It is the largest amount of waste left after a concert ever. The other picture is the wasted leftover bread that was not used during Live 8. It is now garbage. Live 8 was a benefit concert for African poverty and hunger.

Treehugger article on trash
Treehugger article on bread

Thursday, July 07, 2005

London 7/7

That is what they are calling it. If you haven't already heard about this, then your Natalee Hollaway. Four separate bombings during rush hour. One bus and three London Underground trains. The tube and all city transit completely shut down. The current death toll is 37. This is the most disturbing thing to happen in London since the rise of the Spice Girls. London has not seen this much destruction since the blitzkrieg of the nazi's (those fucks). As usual, the immediate reaction is that it is the fault of...an electrical surge? Yeah, that's what they originally thought at like 3:00 A.M. our time. Eventually they turned their brains on and realized it was an act of terrorism. Gay as terrorism. Fucking terrorists, always the fucking terrorists. But, which ones? Usually it's the IRA. But, for some reason nobody thinks they would pull this kinda thing off. Also, some internet site is claiming that they did it. They are calling themselves the Secret Group of Al Qaida's Jihad in Europe. What a stupid fucking name. I mean come on, if your gonna pull something like this off, can't you get a better name than that. Besides, if you plaster your shit all over a web site for all the electronic world to see, it's not SECRET! And what's with the whole "in Europe" thing? What, are you fuckers regional? Where's the web site for the Secret Group of Al Qaida's Jihad in Canada? Or New Zealand? Or America for that matter. And what do these dinks hope to accomplish? Do they think that England is just gonna jump ship on Iraq. These guys had their entire city leveled by The Nazis, the fucking nazis. The nazis took over half the globe (including almost Al Qaida's hometown), and the English (with our help) still beat them back. No matter how hard these guys try, they will never match up to the nazi's in the evil department. It is gonna take alot more buses (even if they are the double decker kind) and way more subway cars. Not to mention some major mass genocide. I am sorry, but, the only people that could do that kind of evil shit again are the Germans themselves. They do start every damn world war. Terrorism doesn't work with really powerful nations. A nation powerful enough to take over your half of a continent doesn't become terrified. Terror only works on those who have little. Besides all that shit, I think the IRA is really pissed about being shown up. And if there is any hard core terrorism group you don't want to piss off, it's the IRA. Bush couldn't find his ass if it wasn't his own head. Now you've got the smart one pissed off at you to. One has the guns, the other has the brains. And between the IRA and our own homegrown crazy hillbilly gun waving inbred fuckers, your screwed. You've got angry evangelists, gun toting catholics, pissed off protestants and C of E british and they all hate your god. Seriously, you can't win.

The Politicians.


The word of the day is "resolve". Apparently between England and here in America, we've got shitloads. I always liked the way that Bush acted after 9/11, he had that anger in his voice that simply said, "you motherfuckers". Of course as we all now know, not much ever came of that. Except the deposing of a despotic loon cuz, "he threatened ma daddy". But, I must say, Blair wan't as angry, but I liked his response nonetheless. His response was spot of, "what was that all about"? He looked simply offended. Of course we all know that they will get the guys responsible for this. There is a newer younger James Bond in town. MI6 will get to the bottom of it, and get mad laid at the same time.

The Victims.


What? Do I have something on my face?

The Bombs.


How to turn a British double decker bus into an American style single floor bus. The hard way.