Thursday, April 26, 2007

Lessons For Presidential Candidates #1

I will try to make this a running thing. You know, since I am going to all the trouble of numbering it and all. And I think it bears mentioning due to the shear stupidity of the story. Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee needs to have that old conversation with his son about the birds and the bees, and "walking on a plane with a loaded gun". Now, he has a concealed carry permit and all, and apparently this form of crime only carries with it a $100 fine or some such crap. But really? Who does that, who (especially if daddy wants to run the free world) walks through airport security with a friggin' gun. Now, he says it was an accident and he picked up the bag and brought without knowing the gun was within. That seems sensible. If your retarded! Can a human being with the right to control their own life really be so gun happy that he just forgets where he put his gun, and extra loaded clip? Now I don't think there was any malice in this obviously, I just think this kinda guy should be required to wear a special hat of some color, so we can clearly identify who these people are.

AP Story - Huckabee's Son Arrested With Handgun

Monday, April 23, 2007

Pearl The Landlord

A rich, paid to be funny guy pretends to be a regular guy making a funny video for the internet. This would be sad and anger me with it's uselessness. Were it not for it being totally funny. I am still attempting to understand a great mystery of the universe that this video begs the question of. How is it that Will Ferrell successfully never made me laugh once during the whole of his 7 years on SNL, only to be funny in everything he does now? Is it possible that he was just fucking SNL the whole time by keeping these ideas to himself? He (his production company) started the Funny Or Die website for just such internet videos. And accordingly, has prevented YouTube from carrying it. So I have tried to embed it here from their site. But, it plays automatically. And so, as soon as it starts annoying me I am deleting it. But, the link below will remain for all to see.

Pearl The Landlord - Video
USA Today Story
TV Squad Story

What Is The Soundtrack Of Genocide?

The picture is entitled, "Female member of Mursi tribe in Southern Ethiopia". I know what your thinking. That's it, I'm getting rid of mine, AK-47's have just gotten too trendy now. Now, after the usual five minutes of research I find that the Mursi are indeed not into the whole genocide bit. They are in fact being displaced off their land against their will by a government that coerced them into signing their land into a national park. But really, "What Is The Soundtrack Of Governmental Displacement" just doesn't sound as good.

A La Boing Boing

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The Secret Service Shoot Themselves In The Foot

Today at the White House while the President was away from home, the kids were careless. The President was at the services in Blacksburg, VA today, fulfilling his duties as what some have called Mourner In Chief. Today at a security post near the southwest gate of the White House, a secret service agent accidently had his firearm discharge injuring one agent in the face with shrapnel, and another agent in the leg. So, let's see, since their creation after the McKinley assassination they have had a fun history of not actually doing anything of any real noticable value (except once, and I am not going to count that one for the reason that the men involved were not actually called Secret Service at the time). So let's see, saving Kennedy, no, the other Kennedy, no again. President Johnson even flirted with firing them all after that and replacing them with FBI guys. President Ford, well, how hard can it be to protect someone from a crazed Manson girl with a shaved head that doesn't even know how to fire a gun proper. How about Reagan? Not really, Hinckley missed the kill shot at like 3 feet away. After that, wow, they fell on the President, and the shooter. And now, they can't even protect themselves from shooting themselves.

Two Secret Service officers injured at White House

Dave Chappelle's Six Hour Set

Chappelle broke the Laugh Factory's record for longest set last Sunday with a six hour set. Previously set by Dane Cook actually just a few days earlier. Apparently in response to the death of Dane Cook's father the previous month. Some cathartic thing or rather. Chappelle even racked up a nice little 2,200 dollar fine for using the "n-word" while doing a half hour routine on the banning of using the word at said club. The article below states that only twelve of the whole of the audience left in the duration of the set. There is not a known video of the set which is depressing because it was obviously that good.

Variety Article

Friday, April 06, 2007

Geraldo + O'Reilly + drunk immigrants = AWESOME!

Just check out O'Reilly's forehead vein. That shit is gonna pop. I wonder which bitch would have slapped the other bitch first if this had escalated. My money's on Geraldo, he's been beaten down by neo-nazis and mother's of teenage pregnant plastic surgery nightmare "victim" goat fetish self harmers for so long, that this guy has gotta snap some time.